Thursday, May 14, 2009

Life's Blessings, at 4am.

WARNING! Philosophical blubbery coming up...LOL

So, here I sit, at about 4:30am. My wonderful husband is in the shower, I just finished packing his lunch and making his coffee and I sit down and take a look at my Women's Health magazine for a few moments when I read an article about a woman who chose to have a baby on her own, she was in her late 30s and had no serious relationship going and decided she wanted to be a mom. And I must say it really made me think. I am so amazingly blessed. Over the last week the boys have been crazy, the words "no" "I don't want to" and "mine" have all been shouted across the house at least hundreds of times, fighting has been the course of the day. Needless to say by bedtime all my fight is worn out just in time for the bedtime battle of "I wanna sleep in your bed!" More than once I have thought about the going price of children on the gypsy market (LOL). But, then I read this article and the first emotion that went through me was pitty. I know the woman in the article was not looking for pitty, she was a happy single mom of a 3 year old. But how sad would it be to have to make the decision on whether or not to have children completely on your own, so have to do it in a sterile doctors office with people you barely know. I am blessed that I met the love of my life, my true soulmate at 19 years old! I wasn't looking for him, my life was going somewheres else entirely. My days were filled with college, friends, and family. But looked for or not, there he came and ever since that first e-mail 6 years ago my life has never been the same. My heart was transformed. And out of that amazing love story 3 children came, all beautiful gifts in their own ways to mold me into "mommy". And everyday I have with them is a blessing of the highest order. To be entrusted with their care by the Divine, to see them grow and learn everyday, and to be able to share them with an amazing man who has proved to be an excellent father and devoted husband creates feelings in me that can not be described by words.

In the end though you know what, the greatest lesson of all is that though they will test every limit you have and then find new ones to test. Though you will have your good days, and your bad days, and your "oh God can I start this day over!" days. Though the times will come when that appreciation turns to frustration. In the end I still have 3 amazing children, a loving husband, and a small family who I love more than life itself, who I would gladly lay my life on the line for. And it is that powerful love that is greatest gift that could ever be recieved or given.


Beth said...

Go back to sleep, Kathryn.

NO, I AM KIDDING! I am glad Timm married you. He's a smart man, asking for your hand! You two have made a beatiful family and a beautiful life together. And when we're all old and gray and our kids have all left us, we can sit around together and miss these times. And then let's think of some crazy stunts to pull just to keep our kids on their toes. ;)

IrishPatty said...

When you and Tom were growing up I had the same issues. You both were high spirited and wild at times. Your brother would chase you around the back yard with a stable gun. One evening I was talking to a friend and complaining over something one of you had done earlier in the day. Her eyes welled up with tears and she said, "my son is autistic, I pray every day that he do just one of those things you are complaining that your children are doing". Like you, it made me realize how blessed I really was to have children that were loud and active. I did hide the stable gun but rarely complained again.
Love, Mom and GaGa

IrishPatty said...

One more thing:
You are very blessed having Timm and he is very blessed having you. It was difficult for me when you both fell in love as I was not finished raising you yet (probably not until age 40) . As you will see as parents, we complain about the difficult times raising our children but the most difficult time really is letting our children go. I am sitting here writing this with tears rolling down my face. I guess the only time we really do let go of our children is when we are done here on this earth. Even then (LOL) if possible, I may still be hanging around. "Kathryn, Did you move my cigarettes? I could have sworn they were on the table by the front door" never know.
Love, Mom and GaGa

Mrs. Darling said...

I have a husband and I still had to conceive Peter in a sterile doctors office with people I didnt know. My husband was across town at work when I conceived him. The difference was it was my dear husbands baby! But I know what you mean. We indeed are blessed!