Thursday, June 11, 2009

Mommy Guilt

Ok, so I feel really bad. Alex has had his camp this week and almost every morning he has faught me. I mean screaming, crying, saying "mommy I'm scared" and "Don't leave me!". But I have held firm and made him go, sometimes even leaving him crying. I have talked to the teacher and she said each day he is upset for like a minute after I leave and then he is all into it and smiles and giggles. And every day I pick him up he is all happy and enjoying himself. But still, every morning I do the debate, do I take him home or make him go? I wanted him to do this camp to have fun and get used to getting up and being active in the morning since his preschool is in the morning next year. But I have been shocked by his reactions, he had absolutely no problem in preschool all last year, he always went running off into class, even from the first day. So, I am not sure why he is having such a hard time with this. It is in the same place he went to school, with a teacher he has had before, doing things he has done before... so I am stumped.

But dealing with this I have also come up with a new reason I want him to go every morning. What message would I be sending to him if, at the first sign of discomfort I let him bail out. I was always a VERY shy kid, I got very nervous when I had to go somewhere new or have a new experience. But, what helped me was beign forced, or forcing myself out of my comfort zone. Because, then once I had accomplished it I knew I could do more than I had previously thought and the next time it wasn't so bad. For example, in high school I was in Chorus, I loved it, but always stood in the background. Then finally my junior year I decided I was going to perform in the Cafe Musique revue our Choir put on every year. I can not tell you how terrified I was, I was almost sick. But I forced myself to do it and I felt so amazing about myself after the fact, I knew I could do anything after that. I guess I just want Alex to feel the same way, for him to know that though he was scared and nervous, he did it, and he did it on his own.

I just hope that is the case, and that I am not scaring him for life. LOL.

1 comment:

Amma said...

No need to feel guilty. Part of the anxiety children feel is caused by wanting to be a little independent, yet being afraid to let go. Just keep letting him know how proud you are of him for trying something new and having fun with it at the same time. Sometimes it would be easier to give in, but it won't help him become confident. The fact that he adjusts quickly once you leave is a good sign. Children can have a very difficult time going from "doing what they want/ when they want" to having a very set routine with expectations and limitations set by someone other than their parents. Its scary growing up!! Next week when he doesn't have class to go to, he'll be sad or upset that he can't go anymore! You're a GREAT Mom and always have your children's best interest at heart.