I saw this on another website, and it made me laugh so hard.
10 ways to tell you are the parent of a young child.
1. You’ve had intense, soul-searching discussions about your child’s bowel movements.
2. Everyone Poops, in your mind, is truly a classical piece of literature, deserving to be spoken in the same breath as On the Road, and Gravity's Rainbow.
3.While cleaning out your car, you retrieve enough cheerios to have host a large breakfast for struggling families on your street
4. You wonder if the cheerio dust left after cleaning your car can be used as a substitute for bread flour.
5.You find yourself randomly chanting “meeska-mooska, micky mouse!” and being disappointed when nothing magical happens
6. Spousal arousal standards fall. Exponentially. Wearing jeans and a shirt instead of frumpy clothes? OH LORD.HOT! HOT!
7. Ketchup becomes the savior of dinnertime. Kid won’t eat vegetables? Dip them in ketchup. Meat looks weird? Ketchup, ho! You ponder creating a religion dedicated to praising ketchup (My lord of pureed, sugared tomato goop. Heinz be thy name. Thy bottle pour; your contents cover, the dinner plate and my shirt).
8. The iPod finally fetches a good song so you crank your car radio to 11 and rock the fuck out. Queer looks from bystanders remind you that not everyone thinks The Imagination Movers are hardcore.
9. You begin to feel that childless people who take it upon themselves to dispense child rearing advice need to be tied up and locked in a room filled with sick and/or colicky kids.
10. You’ve been peed on, pooped on, barfed on, spat on, snotted on, coughed on, bled on, sneezed on, bit, scratched, kicked, punched, slapped, hit, had various food objects thrown or dropped on you, been spilled on, you’ve stubbed your toe, bit your tongue, changed everyone’s clothes multiple times, cleaned the same fucking spot several times over and the stain is still there, and it’s not even noon yet.…
...and you wouldn’t change a thing.
(P.S. I love the Imagination Movers! Just a little mommy crush I guess. Hey at least it ain't The Wiggles!)
An Atypical Homeschool Day
3 years ago